Life of a mom

I recently had a friend of mine say that when her littlest one was still at the napping stage, she could send a quick text to a few of her friends and have them go pick up her big kids from school.
That's great. I don't have a 'tribe' as they call it. I never have had one, and anytime I have had a few friends, I'm sure I'm the one who ended the relationship, or chose not to continue being a friend, for whatever reason.

I am lucky that I have my husband, who's a big supporter, when he's not on route as a delivery driver with FedEx - which, right now, is all the time, but I'm thankful he's not an over the road truck driver. I also have his mom who recently took the kids shopping at a farm store, to get some ice cream and to a park, before she was scheduled to leave town for the weekend, but the kids enjoy going out to 'the farm.' My parents are just 4-5 hours away (when they aren't in Florida).

And while we have a church home, and it truly is a church family, there aren't many - if any - people my age. The majority being 50 and above. So, growth groups, or small groups are few and far between, and don't often happen in other people's homes, but just out at the church, which is outside of town, and not helpful, for those of us who live in town. Would I ever open my home to a small group or growth group? Maybe, but I have kids.

For the past few weeks I've been trying to get my 8yo to clean room - it's a disaster. By disaster, I mean disaster! Do not enter, or you might trip and fall and hurt yourself. I have a 2yo who has yet to learn the art of picking up toys when finished with them, and especially not dropping a toy some random place and picking up another thing or toy or non-toy, etc. and then repeating that 5 or more times all around the house. And I question why there are toys in my kitchen, bathroom, etc. odd places.....

Then there's myself, who while, battling depression is taking care of all of the above, I have church obligations, small business owner, work (I have various clients I have to keep happy, plus other part-time work), and volunteering at my child's school, trying to keep my 2yo in cloth diapers as much as possible, so we can save money and allowing her to use the potty when she wants to - but not really potty training - so when I'd rather binge on Netflix shows than clean my kitchen. Please, someone come over and clean my house! Maybe you can see why I don't have time for a "tribe." My tribe is me and my morning coffee - and if I'm lucky a morning or evening at the local coffee shop with a paint brush in hand and a blank canvas in front of me.

I'm an artist, although I'm not sure if anyone has ever called me that. Crafty, yes, but I continually doubt myself and my abilities.